I defintely almost died today

So, this post REALLY needs pictures - but I was not fast (or dumb) enough to bust out my camera so I went online to try and find funny pics and realized that nothing is funnier than the real thing. So imagine if you will...

You are walking North on Abbot Kinney after a successful chiropractor visit

You see a guy walking in a crosswalk - he's about 6'3" and a total douchebag. Weird curly, Jew-ish, dreadlockey things, giNORmous oversized Afflicttion style sweatshirt, baggy black pants - giving a guy in a car that is speeding towards him the "Hey - bitch are you gunna stop for me hand wave"

You look at the guy who TOTALLY should have stopped or at least slowed down a long time ago and he's in a late 80s/early 90s style Supra that has never seen a carwash and is now just the color of dust, lowered, Fast and Furious style wheels - back when it was The Fast and The Furious - a pit bull with a crazy ass scary spiked collar, I mean this poor dog, he's probably seen a fight or 20. REALLY loud music, like loud, like OW my ears and I am standing 20 feet away loud. And the driver..well, let's just say he looked mean.

And mean-driver-guy starts YELLing at douchey-crosswalk-guy. And they are screaming at each other. And by the time douchey-crosswalk-guy gets across the street you are at the corner and mean-driver-with-mean-dog-guy is STILL yelling and pointing his hand in the shape of gun at douchey-fashion-thug-guy - only you are PRAYING to the I'm-about-to-go-on-vacation Gods that you are not about to get shot because at this point you are like 2 feet from Mr-why-don't-you-just-cross-the-street-and-shut-the-fuck-up-guy and you think 2 things: 1) I hope doesn't-know-where-a-carwash-is-guy has perfect aim and 2) I hope he doesn't mind leaving a witness.

And then the both go on their merry ways.

And 2 hours later you still thinking about it.

And then you decide to bliggity-blog because Denis Leary would be so proud.

1 comment:

awildermode said...

after that, your vacation will be that much awesomer.