I'm not gonna feel bad about it

A few months ago I signed up for a jewelry-making class. A really long jewelry class. Like 16 weeks long. Like 5 hours a week long. Like 5 hours every Saturday for 16 weeks long. I, admittedly, went into it HOPING that I would be able to make it through the whole session but secretly a little afraid I would not be able to finish it. Because if you know me, you know I sign up for classes and don't finish them. I get busy. I get lazy. I tend to sign up when I have had a few days or weeks of downtime and am feeling like I need to get active, motivated and train my brain something new. So imagine how completely and totally stoked I was when after the first couple of classes I was totally in love with it. Really liked the teacher, actually spoke to a couple of people in the class and they seemed decent enough, even had things in common *gasp* with them. I enthusiastically bought my tool box and filled it with supplies and eagerly started on the first assignment.

Then I started to find things wrong with the class. Not enough direction. Not enough structure. I didn't get to use the sandblaster. EVERY Saturday is a lot of Saturdays. Then I went out of town and missed a class. Then I couldn't come up with a design for the second project. Then I went out of town again. Then it was Easter weekend and there was no class. Then I got a cold (not THAT cold, just A cold) and missed a class. Now I am behind but honestly it doesn't matter a whole lot because I know the instructor would work with me to catch up on everything I missed. He would sit down and show me exactly what to do, no matter how many hours it took. And you know what? I really hate that about the class. I hate that there is a line of 5 people needing to buy silver, or ask a question that is really important to their project, or be shown how to use the sandblaster (it's soooo cool) and they would have to wait for me because I missed the classes that they were able to make it to.


I'm not going back. The class, while I enjoyed it at first, wasn't teaching me exactly, or even kind of, what I wanted to learn. It was interesting - just not right for me. I need to find a more basic class. One that shows me what I want, and a little more, without needing a garage full of expensive tools to use what I have learned. I don't even have even a little desire to make jewelry, I was just hoping to learn some skills - like soldering. Guy can probably teach me that, right? So, I'm not gonna feel bad about flaking on the class - it wasn't right for me. And now I have my Saturdays back to do none of the other things I want to be doing.

5/1 - update. I just went into my calendar and saw the weekly appointment and decided to leave it there so that I am forced to look at it and punish myself for the next 8 weeks.


you know how when you go to Target and you're walking down the aisles past the clothes even though you only need soap and contact solution and it would be easier to just go directly to that part of the store since it's closer to the door and you think to yourself "maybe if I get new yoga pants I'll go to yoga" and so you duck into into the exercise clothes department - but Target is really close to work, and you did run into a coworker once and they saw you coming out of a section that you didn't want anyone to see you going into, so you hope no one sees you going through the exercise clothes section at Target because then you're admitting that you're the flawed person with ratty yoga pants instead of the badass that you want most people to think you are so that they are too scared to ask you how to fix the printer and you don't know if you're an M or an L and no way in Hell are you going to actually try yoga pants on at Target (ew) and you can't find anything so you think to yourself "I already have X number of yoga pants, I don't need to waste money on new ones, I just need to go to yoga with the pants I already have."


I feel like I just had that thought about the blahg. Like. If I redo the page, change the colors, change the header, get a better font, maybe it will inspire me to write here more often.

But that's stupid. It's good enough the way it is for the purpose it serves. Actually I should just remove all images and formatting because, hello, you should be using an RSS feed dealy anyway. I like Google Reader.

4/29 - update: for the record my yoga pants are not "ratty" they're just not sparkling and new and motivating.

Just a normal Sunday...

Do you ever have those days when you wake up all in a good mood - happy that the sudden head cold that kept you in bed the day before was mostly gone. And you go out and you have a nice breakfast and then have a nice walk around the farmers market and pick up some delicious tomatoes, persian cucumbers, berries that actually have flavor as opposed to the ones you buy at like Ralphs, and avocados. And somewhere between berries and getting to the car your mood takes a total nose dive. You want to throw the berries at that bratty screaming kid's mother (but you can't because they're $$organic$$) and then you want to take the car keys from your husband because he's driving the speed limit and then you get home and want to set the condo on fire because it smells like yesterday's food (the food that husband went out to get TWICE because you were couch-ridden and high on Nyquil). And then you remember your return to Macy's and get kind of happy because you don't have to stay in the stinky apartment and watch hockey playoffs (even though usually you really like hockey).

So... you go make the return without any problems, then you go to the MAC store to buy some software and they really make it very easy - but you do feel sorry for the really ginormous Apple guy who is wearing a shirt that says "No Pain, All Gain" - and then the software makes the Macy's security alarm go off on the way back to the car - and the perfume counter woman wants to strip search you for making the alarm go off as you are walking INTO the store and you're like thisclose to punching her but the stench of her perfume knocks you back 5 feet so you just keep walking as she stands all appalled and entitled. And then you go to Robeks and it smells like vomit.

And then you go home and install new software and you don't read the instructions and you fuck it all up. And you look around at all the shit you need to do. And you get mad at yourself for not doing any of it. And then you feel bad for getting mad at yourself. And then you update your Facebook status. And then you Tweet. And then you see if anyone commented on you FB page. And then you read a really sweet email from your husband. And then you feel like an asshole for being such an asshole. So then you get mad at yourself for being a procrastinating asshole. Then basically your Sunday is over and you write a blog about it. And you wonder why the backlight feature on the keyboard isn't coming on. And you figure it must be karma because instead of enjoying the day you wasted it thinking about you should be enjoying it.

Neither do I.

Deuces are wild.

Deuce’s are wild and I am fairly certain I have come down with Guy’s cold. And it feels like it skipped “cold” status and went directly to sinus infection. But - we hope not.

So, since I am just sitting here (starving and unable to breathe) I might as well talk about some baseball. Here are some random thoughts and Vin-isms that start at the top of the 2nd inning and will last until I pass out or Guy gets home with requested thai food, whichever comes first.

Man. I can’t breathe. Did I mention that? Like in my lungs I can’t breathe. Not in my nose. Although that area is blocked. I can’t even imagine how annoying and scary having asthma would be

Dodgers are up 2-1 and it feels like this could be a long night

Vin: “another name that’s been bandied about, to use that word”

Just noticed cat vomit in the hall - wonder how long it’s been there. Left it there.

Feeling so lazy and ill almost tempted to do one of those annoying Facebook quizzes that keep populating my page. Almost.

Oh - Manny caught an almost home run.

Made a joke on twitter about a Vin Scully drinking game - I bet one exists - gonna go look

oh - let’s also be 12: He said “Deep”

Damn, Manny just (accidentally) knocked the catcher’s mask off with his bat (but, like Vin said, he turned and said “I’m sorry”)

Just tried to put the sparkling water bottle away in the dishes cabinet, only realized it because it was too tall - was distracted with the realization that I only ate half my grapefruit and left the rest to spoil - but at one point I did take the eaten part of the grapefruit and set it down right next to the untouched half.

Just misspelled grapefruit as rapefruit and it has inspired an idea for a piece of art - unfortunately I got no skills. You can have it.

Can’t find a Vin Scully drinking game. Shocked.

Vin: “...nineteen hundred and five; where’d all those years go” --- baseball, Vin, baseball . (I’m almost positive he said “oh-five” but he was talking about Pepsi Park or whateverthefuck it’s called, so I think he means NINETY-five... could have just heard him wrong)

Bummer - Loney is out at 2nd.

MIke Rowe has a nice voice - Ford thinks so too.

I find this “cows the size of schnauzers” commercial for Jack n the Box mini burgers EXTREMELY disturbing - but the song is kind of catchy. Conflicted.

Almost just accused Vin of mis-pronouncing a players’ name - thankfully did not. would have been wrong.

Hey - great a 4-ball walk to the Rockies lead-off hitter with Helton up next. (and by great, I mean NOT GREAT!)

Runners at first and second. No outs. Gunna be a long game.

Not sure if I spelled Helton correctly. Not gunna look it up. I’m living on the edge.

Game is tied.

I’m a little bummed that I don’t know keyboard shortcuts yet on my new computer. But I absolutely love the keyboard. So nice to type on.

Jack in the Box song still stuck in my head

I don’t know - it seems like this homeplate umpire might be watching a different game.

111 pitches in 2-2/3 innings. Thanks for the update, Vin!

thank God for local commercials - first KIA Carson, now AC/DC at the Honda Center. I really feel like I am connecting with the community.

I think Vin might have a crush on Casey Blake.

Vin is talking about Nietzsche.

Vin: “It’s hand-blowing time... the pitchers were told they could go to the mouth... it doesn’t feel that cold unless you have to hold on to something and throw it accurately”

Me thinks husband should not post things on Twitter like: “sure I'll take a glass of wine while I wait for my Thai food.” unless he follows it with something like “before I hurry home to get to my wife who I made sick”

I wonder why Seattle tolerates “Seattle’s Best Coffee”? did they get to vote. Somehow I doubt it is the best.

ETHIER - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Damnit. Vin said it all: “He came up with a glove full of empty” --- outs are not easy to come by in this game

Vin is predicting a bunt

Vin was right.


“get it up to the meat”

Vin: “safety first”


Rockies are in the lead - see comment above and thank Ethier

Guy’s home - food is here!

It's tied.


April 16 last blog post! shoot man. That's a lot of days in between words. Have I talked about how life is passing me by? I mean, shit, it's almost the end of April. Where are the minutes going.

Didn't I make a 2009 to-do list at the beginning of the year? Maybe if I go and find that posting it will motivate me to get off my lazy ass and do something...

things I am working on right now:
Trying to stay motivated and focused at work
Breaking in my new computer. I love it. yay.
Watching the beginning of the baseball season
Trying not to eat meat
Getting my new tattoo (3 hours every 3 weeks for the last 9 weeks! 1 more hour and it will be done!)
Hockey playoffs
Cleaning out closets and bookcases
Staring at the stack of books I need (and want) to read
Jewelry making class
Going to Arizona
Thinking about Grand Cayman (maybe over Thanksgiving??)
Not wearing shoes in the house
Studying food

What I need to be working on

Maybe if my next tattoo is a Nike Swoosh I will remember to just do it.


You know how there are people out there who just LOVE to clean? Well if you happen to be one of those people and have nothing to do this weekend will you PLEASE come over here and clean our condo? It's less than 1200 sq ft and is really pretty easy. I will organize your closet or kitchen cupboards in return. Please?

I have love in my heart - oh nevermind, let's talk Bumpits!

I was all set to write something and I got SERIOUSLY distracted by a commercial on the MTV - so more on the original thought in a second.

So - here I sit on a Wednesday night, not watching the hockey playoffs, not watching Dodgers vs Giants, but watching Real World / Road Rules Challenge The Duel 2 (don't hate) and it's awesome. Awesome in that really fucking terrible and deserves an entire post on it's own kind of way - but what really distracted me was a commercial for Bumpits. Now, myabe you already knew about this amazing new invention but I JUST found out that Flat Hair was so last year! Well - now that I know I can do something about it - We can go from flat to fabulous with Bumpits! I just can't put into words the emotions that are being stirred by realizing that FINALLY I don't have to have flat hair! I can buy this $7 piece of plastic to give my hair that "Hollywood" look - fuck man, I knew that I didn't really have a "traditional" look or style but I have lived within 30 miles of Hollywood for my entire life and just had no idea that getting that "trendy Hollywood look" could be so EASY!

I'm just bummed that my birthday has passed and I can't ask for these! What is really funny is that I am pretty sure one of the girls on the show was wearing one during her interview!

You will have to wait to hear what I was gunna write about. I can't get my mind off of Bumpits!

random thoughts on a Monday evening

Just some random thoughts -- these are the things that go through my head while I am doing laundry, cleaning out some drawers and watching baseball...

REALLY? You're gunna leave the starter in the first game of the season into the 6th inning? Deuces are wild. two on, two out, Padres down by two. AND that was thisclose to being a homerun. Foul. Damnit Joe.

Do you still need to turn jeans inside out if they are already faded?

I have a lot of tights. You know what I never wear? Tights.

Awesome. Ball 4. Bases loaded.

ok. still 3-1.

Gotta look for tickets to this week's Diamondbacks game

Is Supercuts serious with these commercials?

yay - 4-1

ok - tickets to Dodgers vs Diamondbacks in Arizona purchased. yay. I've never been to their stadium and am looking forward to it, have always wanted to go there. I wonder if they have Rubber Ducks?

ok, so I had to look up with the field was called, I would TOTALLY judge someone for not knowing what the place they just said they always wanted to go was named - but I think it's changed names a few times... like didn't it used to Bank One? They called it The BOB right?

wow - largest crown in Petco Park history. That's pretty sweet. I hope Peavy loses. And cries.

Getting anxious in the bottom of the 8th.

I wash EVERYTHING in cold.

Are all of the Dodgers spray tanning or is the color on this TV going?

Thank God Vin is back - Vinisms make me happy. "once in a while with contacts, they'll pop out of the eye...hmmm... tough enough game" --- seriously he's been talking about contacts for this entire at-bat. Kemp apparently got a new pair. He drew a walk with those new contacts. I guess he can actually SEE the ball better.

ok - I'm sure this is total karmic retribution - I have a new favorite shirt - it's nothing fancy, just a cotton shirt from H&M, but I like it. A lot. I just washed and dried it with a big oily stain on the front. hmmph.

turned on Baseball tonight - it's not short STOP. It's Short Stop. thanks.

Of course, I would like the Dodgers to win AT LEAST 99 more games - but I will be happy knowing that the Dodgers beat Peavy at home on opening day in front of the largest crowd ever at Where The Pets Go park.

I just read this in a prediction about the Dodgers upcoming season: "All of the youngsters are one year older" ----- uh. right. I would hope so.

Pres- ti - gious or Press-tee-gious? I say Press - tee - gious. This CBS guy does not.

Doing Laundry SUCKS. Ruining new favorite shirts totally sucks. Dinner is gonna rule. Guy makes THE BEST salmon.