Sailors are the new pirates.

So if you have spent more than say, 3-1/2 minutes with me you know that I use expletives. A lot. What can I say, I am a product of my environment – I grew up in Lawndale, Carson, San Pedro, in a totally white trash family complete with drugs, Thanksgiving Day fights concluding with brother 3 trying to hit brother 2 in the head with a hammer (did I mention they were grown men and bro 2 was my father?), and unemployment/welfare checks. So yeh. I swear. Usually I just think it’s part of my charm, but sometimes I think “fuck, I really need to cut back.” Knowing this is nearly impossible I think I have a good solution – Talk like a Sailor Day. We already talk like pirates once a year and that's getting a little tired honestly, talking like a sailor isn’t really a stretch right? And it’s for EVERYONE, all ages, all occupations, everyone. Little Jacob running around after the soccer ball screaming “oh shit, why the fuck do I have to pass the ball to HER?” or James asking his financial planner "HOW THE FUCK CAN I RETIRE IN A MARKET LIKE THIS" without anyone getting offended or all uppity. Get it all out in one day and the rest of the year people can go back to judging.

- No offense to actual sailors, I love boats.

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