Suffering through the first hour of the MTV VMAs

I am questioning the decision that someone at MTV made to have Rihanna open the VMAs

WAIT, is that a White Stripes song? wtf.
She is just not a good performer.
This song sucks.
Those are totally courtesy applause.
Oh good, she’s gonna come back later.

Russell Brand is totally reading, he shoulda memorized.

I am totally not on board with the new set up – the room is too small, you can see backstage, the logos are out of scale to the small room, the cameras are too close.

Jamie Foxx says “Wake Up!”. And I say How?

Jamie Foxx says “Give it up for Rihanna and that outfit” – he must like thighs.

PREDICTION: Oh, Katy Perry is totally gonna win.
ACTUAL: Britney

Why would you put the camera on someone who is about to be told to leave their seats?

Britney believes in God?

Holy shit – this show is sucking ass.

Football score check: commercial

There is a commercial on about 18-25 year old voters and how they are under represented, I should not be watching this

Umm, except Demi Moore just came onstage, and she’s old.

Good Christ, why would you let her walk onstage without a mic?

Paying the bills: Chris Brown just won, but he didn’t specifically thank Guy, or anyone else.

I wonder why the speeches are so short and how they can do that for other shows

Why the fuck is Russell Brand talking so fast?

The Jonas Brothers playing on a fake stoop? WHAT THE FUCK.

I wonder if they provided all that neon to the kids or if those kids actually own that shit

Whoever the hell is singing Like A Virgin has a terrible voice and camel toe

Football score check: Chi 7 – Ind 6

Oh – Kaba Modern and Fanny Pak are doing a dance off! That should be pretty sweet

Oh I guess that was Katy Perry. She needs better shorts and a voice coach

I am literally becoming angry watching this terrible show.

Oh huh, here’s Michael Phelps. He’s totally over exposed

Leona Lewis shoulda been singing earlier, she has a nice voice and no camel toe

Bleeping bad words in songs does not make for good tv

I think the small room is really making this show bad.

Lindsey needs a bra and to learn how to read

Wait – they aren’t gonna show the dance battle?? Damnit.

Best Dancing in a Video
PREDICTION: Pussycat Dolls
ACTUAL: Pussycat Dolls.

There is a lot of God thanking tonight

Football score check: Chi 12 – Ind 6

Commercial: When did Ballys become Bally?

I think I have figured out that MTV is intentionally making this show bad, it’s the train wreck factor, they know I can’t change the channel because I need to see what is next.

I do not know who Paramore is

More neon

I am not missing anything by not knowing who Paramore is

Time for dinner! Yum!