Birthday Countdown, 5 days

wow - 5 days. In five days I will be 36. yikes.

You know what's not fair. You can never win with this age thing. I have friends, including one that happens to be my husband, that are a few years older than me and never let me complain about getting old. THEY can complain about it, but not me. But the funny thing is when THEY were turning 36 and I was still in grade school* they were totally feeling the age thing too. And they like to tell me and remind me that I am not old. But you know what. I also happen to surround myself with people who actually DO think I am old. Like in my jewelry class. Like if I happen to go to a show that's not at a sit-down, $80 a ticket venue. Like when I get on the swings at a playground. Like when I listen to my radio station. They were talking about how they're hosting a weekly (?) movie showing of old punk movies and how one of the kids was complaining about all the "old people" - fucking hell. Kids these days.

I don't really know what it means to "feel" an age. I always thought that was kind of a silly thing to say. I don't FEEL 36. I feel 17. But with some bad knees, a really fucked up neck and a lot more life experience. But I am still really fucking immature. Kind of impulsive. Pretty moody and probably do some stupid shit and act in some some stupid ways that most adults do not. I'm not a risk taker though. Kids take risks. Not me so much. Never really did though. One of my biggest regrets was not really mastering the skateboard and I thought about getting a skateboard and trying to ride it but my first thought was "oh hell no, I might break something" - kids don't think like that. Kids also don't call people under 25 "kids" - so yeh, I am old. So are you. Let me be old. It doesn't mean I don't LOVE my life and my experiences and hope that I can still have a long life full of new adventures. I just want some nice wine and massages to go along with them!

If I hadn't pretty much totally given up meds I would absolutely close this little blog with a note about how I need some Advil for my neck because I spent too many hours today on my computer, on Excel. But because I am old I know how fucked up pharmaceuticals are and have no interest in them SO I am going to get my heating pad instead. You know who does not use heating pads? kids.

*slight exaggeration.

Comments have been enabled so you can either A) wish my a happy birthday or B) complain about what a freakin narcissist I am in which case I will wonder why the fuck you don't go somewhere else. Like to follow me on twitter.